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            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_long" id='qiushi_tag_119971528'>


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                    <a href="/users/36600953/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-author-img','chick'])">

                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3660/36600953/thumb/20180128004754.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="隔壁小妹子">
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                            隔壁小妹子
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春节出租：赚点零花[捂脸]<br/><br/>　　冒充对象：￥500<br/><br/>　　当电灯泡:￥100<br/><br/>　　背黑锅:￥1000<br/><br/>　　回家见父母:￥1000（路费报销）<br/><br/>　　接电话撒谎:￥80<br/><br/>　　陪吃饭:￥100<br/><br/>　　陪逛街:￥150（起步5公里超出+公里/20）<br/><br/>　　陪看月亮:￥150（阴天半价）<br/><br/>　　雾霾天气:￥300<br/><br/>　　陪压马路:￥180<br/><br/>　　合法经营，诚信为本，提供牵手 拥抱！<br/><br/>　　小本经营，微信支付宝现金支付，概无发票！（我告诉你我可是认真的噢）

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                        <h2>
                            太平公主*
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                    <div class="articleGender womenIcon">19</div>
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                <a href="/article/119983422" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-content','chick'])">
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闺蜜被她家二哈咬了一口，让我陪她去打疫 苗。<br/>“你家二哈脾气那么好，咋会咬你。。”<br/>“我最近不是学理发吗，昨晚闲着无聊，就想着用二哈练手，没想到越剪越难看……最后把二哈脑袋毛剪秃了，，这家伙看到镜子中的自己“嗷~”的一声，，回过头在我手上咬了一口。。

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                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1382</i> 好笑</span>
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<i class="number">24</i> 评论
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                                <span class="number hidden">1401</span>
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                                <span class="number hidden">-19</span>
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                        <span class="cmt-god"></span>






                        <span class="cmt-name">$二爷西风：</span>
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                            狗狗也有尊严的
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                                29

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            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id='qiushi_tag_119983458'>


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                    <a href="/users/24703920/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-author-img','chick'])">

                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2470/24703920/thumb/2018012122083791.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="醉酒舞剑砍疯子°">
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                            醉酒舞剑砍疯子°
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                    <div class="articleGender womenIcon">13</div>
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                <a href="/article/119983458" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-content','chick'])">
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晚上躺沙发上看手机，小侄把果汁弄洒一地，正好我家喵路过，踩了一爪子，这货像踩了屎一样，不停地甩爪，嗖的跳上沙发，在我裤子上用力的抹了几把，看了看爪子，满意的走了！<br/>特喵的。。。

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                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1079</i> 好笑</span>
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<i class="number">25</i> 评论
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                                <span class="number hidden">1096</span>
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                                <span class="number hidden">-17</span>
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                        <span class="cmt-god"></span>






                        <span class="cmt-name">我是流氓我怕板砖：</span>
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                            楼主究竟摸了几把？
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                                22

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            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id='qiushi_tag_119965054'>


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                    <a href="/users/9214729/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-author-img','chick'])">

                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/921/9214729/thumb/20180120094412.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="好吃的焦糖饼干">
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                        <h2>
                            好吃的焦糖饼干
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                <a href="/article/119965054" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-content','chick'])">
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老妈和嫂子谈教育孩子的问题。老妈：小孩子，好奇心强，你越不让他碰啥，他越想碰……<br/>嫂子：那怎么办呢？<br/>老妈：我儿子小时候特调皮，总想把手指伸插座里，我没阻拦他…后来，他手指头烧黑了，就再也不摸啦……

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                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">3004</i> 好笑</span>
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<i class="number">34</i> 评论
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                                <span class="number hidden">-33</span>
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                        <span class="cmt-name">胖香：</span>
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                            嫂子不高兴了吧？老哥手指头是不是短还不灵活？[奸笑]
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                                <img src="//static.qiushibaike.com/images/newarticle/like@1.5.png?v=b7f830b3bb97b559891af61444d3b4ad">


                                40

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            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_old" id='qiushi_tag_117180829'>


                <div class="author clearfix">
                    <a href="/users/18059535/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="height: 35px" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-author-img','chick'])">

                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1805/18059535/thumb/20170417114524.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="卡卡西唷">
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                        <h2>
                            卡卡西唷
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                    <div class="articleGender manIcon">27</div>
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小生对穿职业装的姑娘毫无抵抗力。白衬衫，西裤/套裙，腰带，细高跟。这是病，没救了。可耻的匿了。

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                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">451</i> 好笑</span>
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<i class="number">35</i> 评论
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                                <span class="number hidden">-21</span>
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            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id='qiushi_tag_119979302'>


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                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3034/30346567/thumb/20170217143416.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="保罗·乔治">
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                        <h2>
                            保罗·乔治
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                <a href="/article/119979302" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-content','chick'])">
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我洗衣服的时候工卡都没有掏出来就把衣服拿去洗了。第二天领导看见我胸前的工卡，就问我:“你的工卡怎么冒水了？”我说:“不是冒水，是进水了，昨天我把它放洗衣机里洗了。”领导意味深长的说:“这工卡有多重要你知道吗？好比是人的大脑。”

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                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">4033</i> 好笑</span>
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                            Mr杨杨杨杨
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哈哈，很皮啊

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从来都是听说猫的主人死了，猫会哭，狗丢了会自己找回来～～～～今天，我算是亲眼见到了。快过年了，LZ去老妈家帮着打扫家，因为老妈家住的比较远，要开车三四小时，然后，老公跟女儿又都上班，没人照看我家猫咪，我就把猫咪带到老妈家。结果，这货，从我抱它上车它就开始哭，对。你没看错。是哭～～～估计，它以为我是要把它给人吧？它哭的好伤心～～～～

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                        <span class="cmt-name">小杨来看糗百：</span>
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                            不是这样的，是猫冻的，好不容易暖和的窝着睡一会，被你抱出来，又气又恨，只能哭了
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                                32

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前几天给同学当伴娘，被老妈唠叨“同学朋友都结婚了吧，就剩你自己了吧，我看你结婚事谁给你当伴娘。。”<br/>我“我可以租伴娘。。”<br/>小侄女跑过来说“姑姑，租我吧，我长到十八了给你当伴娘，，”<br/>老妈看着六岁的小丫头差点吐血。。

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                        <span class="cmt-name">$二爷西风：</span>
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                            说不定楼主还得给小侄女当伴娘呢
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                                98

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                            污神界的扛把子
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19岁那年，因为家里贫困，弟弟没有钱交学费，在家哭的是撕心裂肺。为了弟弟的学业，我把自己的初夜献给了一个地产老板，那个畜生足足折磨了我一晚上，最后给我八万块。我哭着回了家，躺到床上想到，早知道赚钱这么快这么舒服还白受了这么多年的穷，以前真是太年轻……

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                                            小糗糗的舅舅
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男人要勇敢的对老婆说:“滚”！

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1780</i> 好笑</span>
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                                        <span class="cmt-name">怀念曾经的自己：</span>
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                                            糗百不是童话世界，男同胞们顶我上去给这些娘们看看！
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                                                38

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                                            小黑猪的老公
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表弟聪明帅气，和他女朋友郎才女貌天生一对，但是由于父母的极力反对导致分手。后来表弟和邻村的姑娘定婚，貌似一切都挺顺利，可令人尴尬的是，就在举行婚礼的前天晚上，新郎协同前女友跑了……更悲催的是，我是他和邻村姑娘的介绍人……

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">892</i> 好笑</span>
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                                                <span class="number hidden">-15</span>
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                                        <span class="cmt-name">我是流氓我怕板砖：</span>
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                                            楼主捡漏了
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                                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1722/17221979/thumb/20170914110706.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="挖鼻孔的老虎">
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                                        <h2>
                                            挖鼻孔的老虎
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                                    <div class="articleGender manIcon">100</div>
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老婆在抽屉里找到我的u盘，很久以前的，里面有一部那种难以描述的视频。<br/>她大吵大闹，非说是我和前女友拍的。<br/>我跟她说：“你听那男的口音，会是我吗？”<br/>她：“口音可以装的！”<br/>我无言以对……<br/>后来她看完松了口气：“好吧不是你，做了20分钟，这个你装不来。”

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">926</i> 好笑</span>
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                                        <span class="cmt-name">木游好菇凉：</span>
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                                            后期剪辑的，我看过，20多次才合成的
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                            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id='qiushi_tag_119983396'>


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                                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3223/32236400/thumb/20180119230332.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="偷惢">
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                                            偷惢
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男友他姨是开婚介所的，那段时间客户特多，然后又说楼主形象好，让我帮她做几天托，许诺给我们许了还多好处，二货男友竟同意了......<br/><br/>这下好了吧，我竟然找到了我现在的老公。听说前男友现还单着......

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1047</i> 好笑</span>
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                                        <span class="cmt-name">狂奔中的兔子123：</span>
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                                            幸亏你前男友离开你，不然也会头上一片草原，他不是二，而是你浪
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<h2>匿名用户</h2>
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今天带孩子去公园玩，挺大的一个公园，上完厕所出来没走十步看到一个男的直挺挺的站在草地上小便，那么多人的公园，厕所就几步路，还随地大小便，三十几岁的人也不像智障实在无语！

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">206</i> 好笑</span>
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                            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id='qiushi_tag_119983467'>


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                                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/921/9214729/thumb/20180120094412.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="好吃的焦糖饼干">
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                                            好吃的焦糖饼干
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                                    <div class="articleGender womenIcon">84</div>
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                                <a href="/article/119983467" target="_blank" class="contentHerf" onclick="_hmt.push(['_trackEvent','web-list-content','chick'])">
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和老公去超市。楼主正想买些桔子。老公拦着楼主说：媳妇，你看那桔子，连个叶子都没有，肯定不新鲜……<br/>导购大姐看了看刚剪下一堆新鲜叶子，瞪了老公一眼，把叶子又洒了上去……

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1226</i> 好笑</span>
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                                        <span class="cmt-name">胖香：</span>
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                                            让老公少说两句吧，没看到大姐手里有剪刀嘛，，
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                            <div class="article block untagged mb15 typs_hot" id='qiushi_tag_119983440'>


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                                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/873/8737794/thumb/2018010620360666.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="十里柔情一帘幽梦">
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                                        <h2>
                                            十里柔情一帘幽梦
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                                    <div class="articleGender womenIcon">100</div>
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凌晨醒来口渴，拿过床头的保温杯喝水，怕孩子醒就没开灯，不小心洒在床上。<br/>这时孩子要尿尿，回到床上后，孩子摸到被子湿了，哭了起来：我明明尿小马桶了，尿怎么跑床上来了？

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1879</i> 好笑</span>
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                                        <span class="cmt-name">合手若心：</span>
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                                            实力坑娃！
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                                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/2931/29314260/thumb/2017122920220878.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="太平公主*">
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                                            太平公主*
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看手机，眼睛累，闺蜜说她会眼保 健操，让我跟她学，，<br/>第一部，让我闭上眼睛，跟着她的动作给眼周围做按 摩，，<br/>闭着眼睛不一会儿，“啪”，给我一巴掌，“你咋不跟我学，，”<br/>“你 妹 的，闭着眼睛我能看到你的动作吗。。”

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1064</i> 好笑</span>
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小时候对大人们结婚登记很模糊。<br/>有天去上学的路上我问同学：今早<br/>上你家咋起这么早啊？<br/>同学：我哥去公社登记！<br/>我：哎！登记怎么登啊？<br/>同学：这你都不知道吗？就是一男一女坐在地上，脱了鞋脱了袜子，你蹬我几下，记着。我蹬你几下记着，这就是登记！<br/>回去给我哥说：让他登记时别穿袜子了！免得脱了再穿费事！

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                                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/1372/13728822/thumb/20150610141618.jpg?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="我是冷果冻">
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今天给一客人送狗粮，客人住28楼，电梯走走停停的，到25楼的时候电梯门开了，就剩下我和一位快递大哥了，我看了看他没有出去的意思，我以为到了28楼，就出去了，刚出电梯门才发现是25楼，马上退回去，尴尬的跟快递大哥说，我还没到，看错了，快递大哥跟我相视一笑，电梯继续缓缓上升，快递大哥突然恍然大悟道:“靠，我去25楼，刚刚我以为我是楼层最高的那一个呢！”。。。

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                                        <img src="//pic.qiushibaike.com/system/avtnew/3223/32236400/thumb/20180119230332.JPEG?imageView2/1/w/90/h/90" alt="偷惢">
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婚礼那天，中午婚宴结束后，看着父母离开的背影，不由得哭的鼻涕一把眼泪一把～<br/><br/>老公看到我这个样子，哽咽的告诉我以后一定会好好对我，经常陪我回娘家的<br/><br/>我擦了一把鼻涕，对他说:真的吗？那你现在去把饭桌上那个大肘子拿过来，我都馋好久了......

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                                    <span class="stats-vote"><i class="number">1287</i> 好笑</span>
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                                        <span class="cmt-name">吃了两碗又盛：</span>
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                                            吃货无敌
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过年了…这一吻[偷笑][偷笑]生死两茫茫！不思量，暗自伤，一头红烧，一头炖汤……从此不再相见，天各一方。 <br/>时光易老，人易散，活着常联系，没事常聚聚，且行且珍惜。[呲牙][呲牙]

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                                            十年生死两茫茫，称重量，案子上。千言万语，都在灶台上。纵使相逢不相识，白刀进，红刀伤。夜里幽梦忽还乡，猪饲料，吃半缸。相顾无言，看谁吃的香。料得年年断肠处，过年了，杀猪忙！
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                                            花七七…
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今天在公交车上，我正低头玩弄手机，忽听一阵轻快的铃声，然后听到在坐旁边妹子用手肘顶了我一下，娇羞问：“你的铃声我好中意哦，能传给我吗？”<br/>我懵然的抬起头，不明所以的看着她。   铃声戛然而止，前排传来“喂……”一位大叔拿起电话接了起来……

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快要过年了，去市场上买烟花爆竹，突然发现有卖“窜天猴”的，然后我买了好多。<br/>因为我突然想起有个姓金的胖哥哥，他花好几亿造了一个“窜天猴”，而我花了10块钱，就买了20个“窜天猴”，瞬间自信满满。

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这人本身就是个笑点^_^

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